I have tears in my eyes this morning, as I reflect on my deepest gratitude (which doesn’t even feel like a deep enough word to describe my relief) that I have landed here with these vedic teachings. I feel in my body a knowing that I have traveled through lifetimes to be here studying these shastras and to be held in the triangle of shastra, guru and Ishawara. I can feel a pull from my jiva saying "girl, you sound crazy! What are you talking about? How can you embrace this dispassion and non attachment?"Then I hear my teachers words from Sadhana Chatushtayam where she explains that some people (in my case myself) might think we are acting oddly. I remember this teaching and breathe deeper and connect even deeper to the triangle of shaatra, guru and Ishawara. When I heard about the change fro the vedic way to the vedic circle I found myself curious if I would continue to feel supported in the way I have for 18 months in the weekly calls and the cycles of the Goddess series I was doing on my own. This new platform and access to so many teachings has been unbelievable and has really super charged my studying and contemplation on vedic teachings. Ishwara is with me through all the teachings that always seem to support each other and where I am in the moment. I am just starting the Bhagavad Gita series and it is so powerful it often leaves me speechless for an hour after.
I feel deeply surrendered. I have tears in my eyes as I write these words because I feel like I am coming home to myself.
My jiva has been wandering and looking and hoping for someone to love me and hold me in a way that now I know only Ishwara can (and always has). Through the Sadhana Chatushtayam teachings, I heard my teacher suggest that every day we ask Ishawara to show us our Self. She said just ask and it will be revealed. She also shared that when I feel abundance I feel abundance or joy that is just a reflection of self which is why we chase it so much. This has really helped me feel more connected to self throughout the day. These are just my musings and contemplations. I am just starting on this path but am so immensely grateful to have landed here with all of you and our teacher.☀️
Jai Maa Elizabeth, you have captured so beautifully your journey back to your Self and a lot of what you said resonated with me too. I feel the same way having found these teachings and this community. Curious what type of Goddess series you were studying on your own - I am soaking in as much as I can find on Goddess teachings so if you could share what worked for you, that would be lovely to hear.